Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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