Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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