i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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