Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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