oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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