She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
