i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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