just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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