Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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