So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
