I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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