Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
