they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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