just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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