So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
