I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
