I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
