no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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