That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sext me about skeletons
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
