Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
