Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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