Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
