i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
