I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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