Will you blow on my dice?
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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