so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
