I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
