Screwed.edu
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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