Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
