i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
