Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
