Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
