After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize