You can't special order awesome
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
