Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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