You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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