Can Purell be used as lube?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
