i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
