drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
