i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
