Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
