Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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