How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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