I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
