chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
