i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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