...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize
