the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
