So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
