once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
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I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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