I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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