I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
