TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
