they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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