Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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